Today is a very hard day for a lot of people very close to my heart. I feel like being far away from a tragedy reminds you of how full of them the world is. Something very real that my family is feeling today is half a world a way from me...and yet I realize through this just how many tragedies happen every day. With real people. Everywhere. Today, tomorrow, here and back at home...
One of the first things that I heard when I moved here was a poem by a girl that I go to school with. I hope to get to know her, and right now can't remember her name. But her poem was beautiful. Full of anguish, frustrated with the world we live in and the life she finds herself navigating through...her main request was the no one try to "put a band-aide" on the hurts in her life.
That phrase has really stuck with me. I think we can all relate to some degree. When something happens that sucks, we put a band-aide on it. Or say something to try to make it better. Or try to explain it away. Are there good things that come out of the bad? Yes. But that doesn't make them less hard, or terrible even. It's just not good enough to explain things away.
The only thing that makes sense to me when people are hurting is to hug them. Wrap them up and hold them, for a long time and without letting go. Hoping that in that, they may feel some comfort, some love, some relief from their sadness...some peace, some hope, some warmth. I think God does that for us.
I am praying for everyone in Texas today, and hope that you will find comfort in this, which I think reflects so well God's desire to comfort us daily:
"Dear restless heart, be still, for peace is God's own smile,
His love can every wrong and sorrow reconcile;
Just love, and love, and love, and calmly wait awhile.
Dear restless heart, be brave; don't moan and sorrow so,
He hath a meaning kind in chilly winds that blow;
Just hope, and hope, and hope, until you braver grow.
Dear restless heart, repose upon His breast this hour,
His grace is strength and life, His love is bloom and flower;
Just rest, and rest, and rest, within His tender power.
Dear restless heart, be still! Don't struggle to be free;
God's life is in your life, from Him you may not flee;
Just pray, and pray, and pray, till you have faith to see.
--Edith Willis Linn
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
On my mind
This week I have been thinking a lot about knowing. You've probably heard it said that our deepest desire is to know and be known....I think that God made us relationally this way. Because He wants us to know Him and He wants to (and already does) know us. Then He turns us outward and wants us to know and be known by others.
Pretty simple sounding, right?
Well, it's not. It's hard work to really know someone. It's hard work to allow ourselves to really be known. It's so much easier to know about, to serve, to check things off a list, to keep things on the surface.
This verse has been on my mind lately:
"On that day many will say to me, "Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and then I will declare to them ' I never knew you'" -Matthew 7:21-23
Jesus wants us to know Him. It is that simple.
BUT...When we really know someone or are known by them we have to face big things. Hard things. Fears. Expectations. Hopes. Confusion.
I want to know Jesus, to really know Him. But sometimes that is messy-looking. Just like people, He is not someone that can be "figured out" or put into a box. He is bigger than that. And it's kind of overwhelming. It's equally overwhelming thinking about how well He knows me, the good and bad and in between.
In my classes, we've been talking a lot about secure attachment. That's a fancy psychology term for basically being healthily attached (without being overly attached) in your relationships. Peter Fonagy, an expert in this area, says that secure attachment is "knowing that you exist in someone's mind". This is something that we all want. For others to be aware of us, to care for us, to know that we pass through their minds every once in a while...
And God gives us this. We are at the forefront of His mind.
I am so convinced that at the end of the day, God just wants us to be honest with Him. To put ourselves out in front of Him and say "God, this is me. These are the little parts of me that I don't show to other people-these are the parts that I think I can even keep from You.
Show me who You are. I am nothing like You but I want to be."
He can handle knowing us, and He wants us to know Him.
Pretty sweet, don't ya think?
Pretty simple sounding, right?
Well, it's not. It's hard work to really know someone. It's hard work to allow ourselves to really be known. It's so much easier to know about, to serve, to check things off a list, to keep things on the surface.
This verse has been on my mind lately:
"On that day many will say to me, "Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and then I will declare to them ' I never knew you'" -Matthew 7:21-23
Jesus wants us to know Him. It is that simple.
BUT...When we really know someone or are known by them we have to face big things. Hard things. Fears. Expectations. Hopes. Confusion.
I want to know Jesus, to really know Him. But sometimes that is messy-looking. Just like people, He is not someone that can be "figured out" or put into a box. He is bigger than that. And it's kind of overwhelming. It's equally overwhelming thinking about how well He knows me, the good and bad and in between.
In my classes, we've been talking a lot about secure attachment. That's a fancy psychology term for basically being healthily attached (without being overly attached) in your relationships. Peter Fonagy, an expert in this area, says that secure attachment is "knowing that you exist in someone's mind". This is something that we all want. For others to be aware of us, to care for us, to know that we pass through their minds every once in a while...
And God gives us this. We are at the forefront of His mind.
I am so convinced that at the end of the day, God just wants us to be honest with Him. To put ourselves out in front of Him and say "God, this is me. These are the little parts of me that I don't show to other people-these are the parts that I think I can even keep from You.
Show me who You are. I am nothing like You but I want to be."
He can handle knowing us, and He wants us to know Him.
Pretty sweet, don't ya think?
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Unconditionally loved by the God of the universe
This last weekend I got to see a bunch of my really good friends from home and my family. There is a certain amount of expectation that comes with any trip to see people you haven't in a while. I was so comforted...in the ways that things had changed but people and their love hadn't. Unconditional people giving unconditional love. Influenced by the love they receive from God.
One of my friends at school reminds me of this sometimes. Dixie, you are unconditionally loved by the God of the universe. Wow.
It is a little overwhelming. Learning not only from being told but from experiencing real, unconditional love. That's what's been rocking my world lately. Unconditional love from wonderful people in my life, but mostly from the God who made it all. I think my view of love has been a little skewed for most of my life. I've known what unconditional love is, have been given it by many people over the years, but I think somehow attributed my own earning of it at least to a small degree, if I'm honest.
I have learned bad habits. Habits of how to love people "enough", or for a season, or until it gets hard. Or when I feel like it.
God doesn't do that. I don't deserve His love; He showers it on. I doubt him daily and push him to the side hourly. I plan my future and see if I can squeeze him into it all. I rebel against His loving discipline. He loves me the same.
All I know is that if you haven't truly experienced that love, His love, unconditional, uncompromising, unending...I pray that you will. You can.
So remember, today, wherever you are, whatever you're feeling, wherever you are wishing you were, however you may be hurting or confused or just tired...
You are unconditionally loved by the God of the Universe.
One of my friends at school reminds me of this sometimes. Dixie, you are unconditionally loved by the God of the universe. Wow.
It is a little overwhelming. Learning not only from being told but from experiencing real, unconditional love. That's what's been rocking my world lately. Unconditional love from wonderful people in my life, but mostly from the God who made it all. I think my view of love has been a little skewed for most of my life. I've known what unconditional love is, have been given it by many people over the years, but I think somehow attributed my own earning of it at least to a small degree, if I'm honest.
I have learned bad habits. Habits of how to love people "enough", or for a season, or until it gets hard. Or when I feel like it.
God doesn't do that. I don't deserve His love; He showers it on. I doubt him daily and push him to the side hourly. I plan my future and see if I can squeeze him into it all. I rebel against His loving discipline. He loves me the same.
All I know is that if you haven't truly experienced that love, His love, unconditional, uncompromising, unending...I pray that you will. You can.
So remember, today, wherever you are, whatever you're feeling, wherever you are wishing you were, however you may be hurting or confused or just tired...
You are unconditionally loved by the God of the Universe.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Step
This week has been one of those weeks where I have just felt inspired. Over and over again. And it is just Wednesday.
The outline of the sun coming up over the mountains on a morning run, the overwhelming display of stars on a dark night, the consistent return of sunny days, good talks with new and old friends alike, learning challenging things in and out of school every day ...reminders that God is at work, here and now.
Yesterday was particularly inspiring as I was encouraged and challenged in multiple ways, through multiple people, to take a step.
The other day in my New Testament class we were talking about Peter. We talked about Peter and Jesus, and that day during a storm where Jesus told Peter to come out to him on the water. What I always remember about this story is that Peter began to sink once He took a couple of steps, and Jesus reminded Him to have more faith. What we talked about, though, in class was the fact that Peter took that first step.
It's craziness when you really think about it. Stepping out onto water in the middle of a big storm. I think that the fact that Peter took that first step needs to be paid more attention to. Peter took a step in faith because he knew the man that was calling him. He knew him well and he knew he could be trusted. Once he took that first step, it was not complete smooth sailing. His faith dwindled for a while, he even got wet, but he had chosen to trust a man that was trustworthy.
Jesus can be trusted. He calls us to come to Him every day. Our journey towards Him is not perfect. But He is still there, pulling us out of our comfort zones, steady and unchanging, loving and hope-giving.
It's kind of a scary time, for me and for a lot of people I know. There's a lot of change going on, I am learning a lot about myself, about the world, and about people. Through my experiences in Colorado, I am being forced to truly look into who I am and where I am taking steps towards. It is terrifyingly exciting.
Such is life, and I am glad.
The things that God puts on our hearts to do and to be can become a reality. We can have the courage to act, with His help. His grace is bigger than our most overwhelming fear.
Donald Miller contemplates life in his book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years," I've wondered, though, if one of the reasons we fail to acknowledge the brilliance of life is because we don't want the responsibility inherent in acknowledgment. We don't want to be characters in a story because characters have to move and breathe and face conflict with courage. And if life isn't remarkable, then we don't have to do any of that; we can be unwilling victims rather than grateful participants."
Jesus told Peter that day simply to come, he saved him when he sank, and he proved his trustworthiness completely.
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." -2 Corinthians 12:9
The outline of the sun coming up over the mountains on a morning run, the overwhelming display of stars on a dark night, the consistent return of sunny days, good talks with new and old friends alike, learning challenging things in and out of school every day ...reminders that God is at work, here and now.
Yesterday was particularly inspiring as I was encouraged and challenged in multiple ways, through multiple people, to take a step.
The other day in my New Testament class we were talking about Peter. We talked about Peter and Jesus, and that day during a storm where Jesus told Peter to come out to him on the water. What I always remember about this story is that Peter began to sink once He took a couple of steps, and Jesus reminded Him to have more faith. What we talked about, though, in class was the fact that Peter took that first step.
It's craziness when you really think about it. Stepping out onto water in the middle of a big storm. I think that the fact that Peter took that first step needs to be paid more attention to. Peter took a step in faith because he knew the man that was calling him. He knew him well and he knew he could be trusted. Once he took that first step, it was not complete smooth sailing. His faith dwindled for a while, he even got wet, but he had chosen to trust a man that was trustworthy.
Jesus can be trusted. He calls us to come to Him every day. Our journey towards Him is not perfect. But He is still there, pulling us out of our comfort zones, steady and unchanging, loving and hope-giving.
It's kind of a scary time, for me and for a lot of people I know. There's a lot of change going on, I am learning a lot about myself, about the world, and about people. Through my experiences in Colorado, I am being forced to truly look into who I am and where I am taking steps towards. It is terrifyingly exciting.
Such is life, and I am glad.
The things that God puts on our hearts to do and to be can become a reality. We can have the courage to act, with His help. His grace is bigger than our most overwhelming fear.
Donald Miller contemplates life in his book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years," I've wondered, though, if one of the reasons we fail to acknowledge the brilliance of life is because we don't want the responsibility inherent in acknowledgment. We don't want to be characters in a story because characters have to move and breathe and face conflict with courage. And if life isn't remarkable, then we don't have to do any of that; we can be unwilling victims rather than grateful participants."
Jesus told Peter that day simply to come, he saved him when he sank, and he proved his trustworthiness completely.
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." -2 Corinthians 12:9
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
God bless the whole world...no exceptions
Colorado- I am obsessed.
Mountains so steady in the distance you forget they are real, cool crisp air at night and in the mornings, sunshine that only elevates the steady dose of endorphins the people around here have on a daily basis.
I have been here about three weeks now, but it feels a lot longer. New roommates, new classes, a new town, new hobbies, a new culture...I am a sponge. Soaking it all in.
On my run through Littleton the other day I saw a silver Subaru (that is the cool car around these parts-who knew?) with "God bless the whole world...no exceptions" as a simply-stated bumper sticker. It made me laugh a little; so Colorado.
If you have ever had the chance to climb a mountain, to see a view, to exit the world of the daily, small things you can touch and see and enter a perspective from far above, I think you may be able to understand the Colorado culture a little more. And, as I am thinking about it, on perhaps a different note, may be able to understand God a little more too.
From what I have seen so far, people in Colorado are just a little more aware of life, of the world that they live in. I mean, living up here, we should be more aware of it because it is in our faces so much. That bumper sticker I think describes the culture up here. People are aware and in awe of the great big world around them
A couple of weeks ago I got to go "adventure" to Estes Park with one of my best friends for a couple of days. I think my favorite memories were our two trips up Trail Ridge Road. The first one was on a rainy afternoon. I set out slowly up the mountain, ready for breathtaking views along the way. Because of the rain, I ended up driving slowly up the side of a mountain, even closer to the wheel than before, using the ten foot of road I could see in front of me to guide us slowly up to 12000 feet above sea level. I have never been so aware of how risky one wrong move could be. Few views were even visible in the weather, and I wouldn't have noticed them anyways because I was so focused on what was in front of me.
The way down was an entirely different story. At every turn, there was a more breath-taking view. From up high, the detail of the terrain we are so used to living in was part of a perfect picture, each detail created a perfect scene.
The tour ended with the sighting of a huge rainbow. What does it mean? haha (see Youtube)
The next day, we headed up the mountain at night, on an impulse. Shelby drove. John Meyer provided the soundtrack. Even in the dark, the perspective from above was breath-taking. Crisp, biting air, faint stars attempting to outshine the moon, a low hum of nature below, content in its place.
I feel a need to apologize for the analogy I am about to make. That life is like climbing a mountain and the perspective from the top is so clear. I know it is cheesy, but I really think God made the mountains for that very analogy.
Life is hard-climbing is hard. For some people, it's easier than others. For some it really sucks. Some days there are views around every corner, other days, all you can do is look ten feet in front of you.
And a very humbling thing I am realizing is that some people's entire lives are rainstorms, and it is all they can do to put one foot in front of the other and "trudge" ahead.
I don't think that there is some "peak" of life that we are supposed to be trudging towards. I think it's more like a person. God-at the top of the mountain, looking down at all of us, seeing things from a different perspective than we do, aware of our individual and collective beauty, of the bigger picture despite the struggle.
Some days, I feel like I am at the top of the mountain with Him. Those are the days that life makes sense. That I can feel God's control over the mess that I am, that I can sense His bigger purpose.
Other days, I am trudging. In a book I had to read for class, it described it this way:
"God says, 'follow this cloud'...we have no idea where we are going. We walk by faith not by sight."
Some days we just follow a cloud. I would say most days that is the case.
The cool thing is that not only is God at the top of the mountain, able to see the bigger picture, but He is also trudging with us. I am very thankful for that.
During my time here so far in CO, I have never felt so...certain. Certain that I am where I am supposed to be, certain that though the future is just a cloud in front of me, I am following, by God's grace, the right cloud. He is here with me and He is there with you. That is comforting.
And He is blessing the whole world...
no exceptions.
Mountains so steady in the distance you forget they are real, cool crisp air at night and in the mornings, sunshine that only elevates the steady dose of endorphins the people around here have on a daily basis.
I have been here about three weeks now, but it feels a lot longer. New roommates, new classes, a new town, new hobbies, a new culture...I am a sponge. Soaking it all in.
On my run through Littleton the other day I saw a silver Subaru (that is the cool car around these parts-who knew?) with "God bless the whole world...no exceptions" as a simply-stated bumper sticker. It made me laugh a little; so Colorado.
If you have ever had the chance to climb a mountain, to see a view, to exit the world of the daily, small things you can touch and see and enter a perspective from far above, I think you may be able to understand the Colorado culture a little more. And, as I am thinking about it, on perhaps a different note, may be able to understand God a little more too.
From what I have seen so far, people in Colorado are just a little more aware of life, of the world that they live in. I mean, living up here, we should be more aware of it because it is in our faces so much. That bumper sticker I think describes the culture up here. People are aware and in awe of the great big world around them
A couple of weeks ago I got to go "adventure" to Estes Park with one of my best friends for a couple of days. I think my favorite memories were our two trips up Trail Ridge Road. The first one was on a rainy afternoon. I set out slowly up the mountain, ready for breathtaking views along the way. Because of the rain, I ended up driving slowly up the side of a mountain, even closer to the wheel than before, using the ten foot of road I could see in front of me to guide us slowly up to 12000 feet above sea level. I have never been so aware of how risky one wrong move could be. Few views were even visible in the weather, and I wouldn't have noticed them anyways because I was so focused on what was in front of me.
The way down was an entirely different story. At every turn, there was a more breath-taking view. From up high, the detail of the terrain we are so used to living in was part of a perfect picture, each detail created a perfect scene.
The tour ended with the sighting of a huge rainbow. What does it mean? haha (see Youtube)
The next day, we headed up the mountain at night, on an impulse. Shelby drove. John Meyer provided the soundtrack. Even in the dark, the perspective from above was breath-taking. Crisp, biting air, faint stars attempting to outshine the moon, a low hum of nature below, content in its place.
I feel a need to apologize for the analogy I am about to make. That life is like climbing a mountain and the perspective from the top is so clear. I know it is cheesy, but I really think God made the mountains for that very analogy.
Life is hard-climbing is hard. For some people, it's easier than others. For some it really sucks. Some days there are views around every corner, other days, all you can do is look ten feet in front of you.
And a very humbling thing I am realizing is that some people's entire lives are rainstorms, and it is all they can do to put one foot in front of the other and "trudge" ahead.
I don't think that there is some "peak" of life that we are supposed to be trudging towards. I think it's more like a person. God-at the top of the mountain, looking down at all of us, seeing things from a different perspective than we do, aware of our individual and collective beauty, of the bigger picture despite the struggle.
Some days, I feel like I am at the top of the mountain with Him. Those are the days that life makes sense. That I can feel God's control over the mess that I am, that I can sense His bigger purpose.
Other days, I am trudging. In a book I had to read for class, it described it this way:
"God says, 'follow this cloud'...we have no idea where we are going. We walk by faith not by sight."
Some days we just follow a cloud. I would say most days that is the case.
The cool thing is that not only is God at the top of the mountain, able to see the bigger picture, but He is also trudging with us. I am very thankful for that.
During my time here so far in CO, I have never felt so...certain. Certain that I am where I am supposed to be, certain that though the future is just a cloud in front of me, I am following, by God's grace, the right cloud. He is here with me and He is there with you. That is comforting.
And He is blessing the whole world...
no exceptions.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
perfect love drives out fear...
1 John 4:18 says:
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear."
I don't know about yall, but I think that I am much more often driven by fear than I am by love. I think essentially that means that I am more driven by what I can see than I am by God.
Galatians 1:10 says "Am I now trying to win the approval of men or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." Wow. That's a little hard to swallow.
Today I did something despite my fear and with the help of God. Essentially I reached out to a friend in a way that I felt led to do but that was way out of my comfort zone. I am terrified by what that friend is going to think. But I did it anyways.
I share this story not by any means to boast, because I promise that most days I cannot say the same thing. I am simply trying to remember this feeling...the feeling that comes with stepping outside of your comfort zone in obedience to God. It is terrifying but very rewarding. I think it reflects the way that God truly made us to live. We want adventure, purpose, a thrill...so we go to roller-coasters, movies, and dramatic relationships instead of to God. I really think He has a lot of thrills in store for us if we asked Him more often. Thrilling things to do for Him.
If you like to read and have some free time this summer, pick up a copy of In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson. It's really legit. But get ready to be challenged.
Until you read the book, the following quotes won't completely make sense. Just know that a lion chaser is essentially a Christian willing to take risks, and God calls us all to be lion chasers..to do things that He calls us to, trusting simply in His perfect power. I really liked what Batterson had to say:
"Lion chasers aren't afraid of conflict. They aren't afraid of risking their reputation by chasing snakes out of the temple. And they aren't afraid of risking their lives chasing a lion into a pit. They often look foolish while in the act. It almost seems like they have a death wish. But lion chasers have a life wish. They live life to the fullest because they are willing to look foolish."
I don't know of many times that I've thought to myself, "wow, I am so glad that I look like a fool right now. I am taking risks for God." Instead, it's more like "well, God, if you ask me to do this, I'll feel really dumb, surely you won't want me to feel dumb..." and then I wonder why I get bored with life at times? Maybe because I'm not always listening to God's crazy callings?
The fact is that God's perfect love drives out fear. He gave us His perfect love through the sacrifice of His son. We have nothing to fear. He has us exactly where He wants us and invites us on adventures with Him all of the time.
Batterson puts it this way: " God is in the business of strategically positioning us in the right place at the right time. That isn't just good theory. It is reality. I have an unshakable sense of destiny because I know that as long as I pursue God's calling on my life, then God is ultimately responsible for getting me where He wants me to go."
This is heavy stuff. Exciting stuff. If God is in us, if we have experienced His perfect love, we have NO reason to fear. He drives out any fear. Think about that. All of the things you have ever feared being driven out by his huge, merciful, perfect love. And he wants us to help Him show other people this as well, to show them His perfect love so that they too can experience a life without fear....Wow.
I need to chase lions more often.
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear."
I don't know about yall, but I think that I am much more often driven by fear than I am by love. I think essentially that means that I am more driven by what I can see than I am by God.
Galatians 1:10 says "Am I now trying to win the approval of men or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." Wow. That's a little hard to swallow.
Today I did something despite my fear and with the help of God. Essentially I reached out to a friend in a way that I felt led to do but that was way out of my comfort zone. I am terrified by what that friend is going to think. But I did it anyways.
I share this story not by any means to boast, because I promise that most days I cannot say the same thing. I am simply trying to remember this feeling...the feeling that comes with stepping outside of your comfort zone in obedience to God. It is terrifying but very rewarding. I think it reflects the way that God truly made us to live. We want adventure, purpose, a thrill...so we go to roller-coasters, movies, and dramatic relationships instead of to God. I really think He has a lot of thrills in store for us if we asked Him more often. Thrilling things to do for Him.
If you like to read and have some free time this summer, pick up a copy of In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson. It's really legit. But get ready to be challenged.
Until you read the book, the following quotes won't completely make sense. Just know that a lion chaser is essentially a Christian willing to take risks, and God calls us all to be lion chasers..to do things that He calls us to, trusting simply in His perfect power. I really liked what Batterson had to say:
"Lion chasers aren't afraid of conflict. They aren't afraid of risking their reputation by chasing snakes out of the temple. And they aren't afraid of risking their lives chasing a lion into a pit. They often look foolish while in the act. It almost seems like they have a death wish. But lion chasers have a life wish. They live life to the fullest because they are willing to look foolish."
I don't know of many times that I've thought to myself, "wow, I am so glad that I look like a fool right now. I am taking risks for God." Instead, it's more like "well, God, if you ask me to do this, I'll feel really dumb, surely you won't want me to feel dumb..." and then I wonder why I get bored with life at times? Maybe because I'm not always listening to God's crazy callings?
The fact is that God's perfect love drives out fear. He gave us His perfect love through the sacrifice of His son. We have nothing to fear. He has us exactly where He wants us and invites us on adventures with Him all of the time.
Batterson puts it this way: " God is in the business of strategically positioning us in the right place at the right time. That isn't just good theory. It is reality. I have an unshakable sense of destiny because I know that as long as I pursue God's calling on my life, then God is ultimately responsible for getting me where He wants me to go."
This is heavy stuff. Exciting stuff. If God is in us, if we have experienced His perfect love, we have NO reason to fear. He drives out any fear. Think about that. All of the things you have ever feared being driven out by his huge, merciful, perfect love. And he wants us to help Him show other people this as well, to show them His perfect love so that they too can experience a life without fear....Wow.
I need to chase lions more often.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
"I will live by my pen"
Last night I watched the movie "Becoming Jane". Good movie for those of you who haven't seen it. I love the character of Jane Austen in the movie. She is funny, bright, outspoken, determined, and incredibly idealistic. Not trying to ruin the movie, but let's just say that she gives up a lot to live for her lofty ideals.
It got me thinking about ideals and expectations in my own life. I would say that I'm an idealist...in all different senses of the word. I have high expectations for myself, for my life and for the people around me. I think that's why I like to write. I can create a world that is perfect in my head and put it on paper. My favorite line from the movie is this: Jane is talking to an author, Mrs.Radcliffe, about writing:
Mrs. Radcliffe: Of what do you wish to write?
Jane Austen: Of the heart.
Mrs. Radcliffe: Do you know it?
Jane Austen: Not all of it.
Mrs. Radcliffe: In time, you will. But even if that fails, that's what the imagination is for.
Imagination...it transcends this imperfect world, allows us to go beyond even the greatest things the heart can fathom. Takes us to a perfect world unlike our own. Allows our ideals to be more than simply ideals: to be reality.
So, are these ideals attainable? Is it better to settle for what's in front of you or wait for the possibility of the ideal? I asked my good friend Maria this this morning and this was her response: It depends. For things that are eternally important, like ethics and morals, you should never settle. But for things of this world-relationships, or a job-sometimes you just have to realize that it will never be perfect.
Life is just life. People are people. Our world is not perfect.
But God created all of the above and I have been blessed to see Him through so many aspects of life and through so many people. He also created imagination. Maybe to allow us to think past this imperfect world, to heaven and to a more perfect understanding of himself. I am very thankful for that.
I think I'm learning more about living in this real, hard, imperfect world. I mean, I am not one to complain...I have been incredibly blessed. But the world is not as it was originally created to be.
Thankfully, the One who made it is unchanging.
So I think for now I will at times choose to "live by my pen" as Jane puts it, at times allow myself to imagine and wonder and write about things that could be, the "what-if's" of life...
But I will be aware of what's in front of me. Of the grace, love and people that God gives me daily. I will admit that I am not perfect just as our world is not. And I will enjoy the pieces of heaven that He gives us here on earth.
It got me thinking about ideals and expectations in my own life. I would say that I'm an idealist...in all different senses of the word. I have high expectations for myself, for my life and for the people around me. I think that's why I like to write. I can create a world that is perfect in my head and put it on paper. My favorite line from the movie is this: Jane is talking to an author, Mrs.Radcliffe, about writing:
Mrs. Radcliffe: Of what do you wish to write?
Jane Austen: Of the heart.
Mrs. Radcliffe: Do you know it?
Jane Austen: Not all of it.
Mrs. Radcliffe: In time, you will. But even if that fails, that's what the imagination is for.
Imagination...it transcends this imperfect world, allows us to go beyond even the greatest things the heart can fathom. Takes us to a perfect world unlike our own. Allows our ideals to be more than simply ideals: to be reality.
So, are these ideals attainable? Is it better to settle for what's in front of you or wait for the possibility of the ideal? I asked my good friend Maria this this morning and this was her response: It depends. For things that are eternally important, like ethics and morals, you should never settle. But for things of this world-relationships, or a job-sometimes you just have to realize that it will never be perfect.
Life is just life. People are people. Our world is not perfect.
But God created all of the above and I have been blessed to see Him through so many aspects of life and through so many people. He also created imagination. Maybe to allow us to think past this imperfect world, to heaven and to a more perfect understanding of himself. I am very thankful for that.
I think I'm learning more about living in this real, hard, imperfect world. I mean, I am not one to complain...I have been incredibly blessed. But the world is not as it was originally created to be.
Thankfully, the One who made it is unchanging.
So I think for now I will at times choose to "live by my pen" as Jane puts it, at times allow myself to imagine and wonder and write about things that could be, the "what-if's" of life...
But I will be aware of what's in front of me. Of the grace, love and people that God gives me daily. I will admit that I am not perfect just as our world is not. And I will enjoy the pieces of heaven that He gives us here on earth.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
I made a goal over the summer: write down 5 things every day that I'm thankful for. Sounds like a kindergarten exercise, I know, but it kind of keeps things in perspective.
Some things from my lists so far:
-good conversations with my mom
-porch swings on summer nights
-meeting new people
-action movies
-good shows like Friday Night Lights
-aloe vera after bad sunburns
-the ranch
-trying to learn to cook
-still having five toes (that was after dropping a knife on the floor on one of those nights I was learning how to cook)
-Austin, TX
-the feeling after a really hard work out
-being silly
-reading
-little kids
These are just a few....but the ones that have made the lists multiple times are: 1. friends 2. God's grace
I have been thinking a lot about God's grace this summer. And I have decided that it is the most unconventional, crazy, counter-cultural, idea....and it is incredibly hard to receive it in the way that God truly wants us to receive it.
I am realizing that I have a hard time receiving things for free. We are told that "nothing is free in life" and it isn't--this is true. I think we even view relationships this way. You give something to get something. It is a two-way street. Growing up, even when you were "given" your allowance, you behaved in some way in order to earn it. You earn your reputation. You earn your job, your status, money for a new car...I think we mentally put a price tag on everything.
And then there's God over here offering His FREE grace, and I don't know how to take it. I don't know if yall can relate. I will receive it after I put myself down in my head enough to think that I've "felt guilty" enough to deserve His grace. I will receive it after I promise God not to mess up like that again, or (embarassingly) even that I will do ___ to make up for it. I will receive it when I feel like I'm far away enough from my sin to talk about it in the past tense.
But that is not the way God intended it. I cannot earn it, can't make up for it, can't wait for it...
God wants to give us His grace now.
Rest in that today.
Rest in His grace, sink into it. Enjoy it. Receive His love as a free gift, just as He intended.
Some things from my lists so far:
-good conversations with my mom
-porch swings on summer nights
-meeting new people
-action movies
-good shows like Friday Night Lights
-aloe vera after bad sunburns
-the ranch
-trying to learn to cook
-still having five toes (that was after dropping a knife on the floor on one of those nights I was learning how to cook)
-Austin, TX
-the feeling after a really hard work out
-being silly
-reading
-little kids
These are just a few....but the ones that have made the lists multiple times are: 1. friends 2. God's grace
I have been thinking a lot about God's grace this summer. And I have decided that it is the most unconventional, crazy, counter-cultural, idea....and it is incredibly hard to receive it in the way that God truly wants us to receive it.
I am realizing that I have a hard time receiving things for free. We are told that "nothing is free in life" and it isn't--this is true. I think we even view relationships this way. You give something to get something. It is a two-way street. Growing up, even when you were "given" your allowance, you behaved in some way in order to earn it. You earn your reputation. You earn your job, your status, money for a new car...I think we mentally put a price tag on everything.
And then there's God over here offering His FREE grace, and I don't know how to take it. I don't know if yall can relate. I will receive it after I put myself down in my head enough to think that I've "felt guilty" enough to deserve His grace. I will receive it after I promise God not to mess up like that again, or (embarassingly) even that I will do ___ to make up for it. I will receive it when I feel like I'm far away enough from my sin to talk about it in the past tense.
But that is not the way God intended it. I cannot earn it, can't make up for it, can't wait for it...
God wants to give us His grace now.
Rest in that today.
Rest in His grace, sink into it. Enjoy it. Receive His love as a free gift, just as He intended.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Freedom
I've been thinking a lot about the freedom that God gives us, and what that looks like. I think Freedom in Christ is different than what we often consider it to be.
"Freedom, like authenticity, is what we are promised when our desires and longings completely coincide with God's designs and plans for us as fully human beings. God's service, says the ancient prayer, is "perfect freedom". And, as with authenticity, freedom grasped too soon becomes an over-realized eschatology, a failure to realize how much work virtue still has to do to bring it to the goal. But the point of virtue is to work at anticipating the future in the present, and glimpsing and grasping the true freedom we are offered in Jesus Christ is a vital element within that. Otherwise, the slogan of "Freedom"! becomes just an excuse for license, as Paul saw already in Galatians 5. To accept appropriate moral constraints is not to curtail true freedom, but to create the conditions for it to flourish....we should expect that God's glory will be reflected out into the world when Jesus's followers learn the habit of the mind, heart and life that imitate the generous love of Jesus and thus bring new order, beauty and freedom to the world." -Bishop N.T. Wright, After You Believe
What is freedom? I feel like it is hard to define, but we all know that we want it. One of the definitions I found called it the "condition of being free of restraints".
People will fight to the death for freedom. I think that shows us a lot of what it is about. I think that freedom is always something that must be fought for, or worked towards. My good friend Jimmy was telling me the other day that we are always going to be a slave to something or to someone. I think a lot of people would disagree with that. On surface level, I did. After doing a little thinking, though, I realized that it's true. Even when I am "doing what I want", I am a slave to my own selfish desires...desires that when not kept in check not only lead me towards not only a selfish life but get me into a lot of trouble too.
So I guess that settles that...we are going to be a slave to someone or something. Things as big as money, sex, and power or as "little" as the cute boy in my class, the next fun weekend, or the brownie I get to have after class. Not bad things, in themselves, but potentially consuming, potentially.....enslaving. Ugg.
Kind of depressing I guess.
Until I think about the promises that God give us. That when we are slaves to Him there is freedom. He gives us rules to follow so that our hearts will stay pointed towards Him. That's what the rules are for...not to restrain us but to keep us from the things that will in the end bind us to them.
I'd rather have a heart pointed towards God than one enslaved to anything I can see...So for now I will pray that He will teach me the "habit[s] of the mind, heart and life that imitate the generous love of Jesus and thus bring new order, beauty and freedom to the world." Thanks for the wisdom, Bishop Wright
Thoughts on freedom, anyone?
"Freedom, like authenticity, is what we are promised when our desires and longings completely coincide with God's designs and plans for us as fully human beings. God's service, says the ancient prayer, is "perfect freedom". And, as with authenticity, freedom grasped too soon becomes an over-realized eschatology, a failure to realize how much work virtue still has to do to bring it to the goal. But the point of virtue is to work at anticipating the future in the present, and glimpsing and grasping the true freedom we are offered in Jesus Christ is a vital element within that. Otherwise, the slogan of "Freedom"! becomes just an excuse for license, as Paul saw already in Galatians 5. To accept appropriate moral constraints is not to curtail true freedom, but to create the conditions for it to flourish....we should expect that God's glory will be reflected out into the world when Jesus's followers learn the habit of the mind, heart and life that imitate the generous love of Jesus and thus bring new order, beauty and freedom to the world." -Bishop N.T. Wright, After You Believe
What is freedom? I feel like it is hard to define, but we all know that we want it. One of the definitions I found called it the "condition of being free of restraints".
People will fight to the death for freedom. I think that shows us a lot of what it is about. I think that freedom is always something that must be fought for, or worked towards. My good friend Jimmy was telling me the other day that we are always going to be a slave to something or to someone. I think a lot of people would disagree with that. On surface level, I did. After doing a little thinking, though, I realized that it's true. Even when I am "doing what I want", I am a slave to my own selfish desires...desires that when not kept in check not only lead me towards not only a selfish life but get me into a lot of trouble too.
So I guess that settles that...we are going to be a slave to someone or something. Things as big as money, sex, and power or as "little" as the cute boy in my class, the next fun weekend, or the brownie I get to have after class. Not bad things, in themselves, but potentially consuming, potentially.....enslaving. Ugg.
Kind of depressing I guess.
Until I think about the promises that God give us. That when we are slaves to Him there is freedom. He gives us rules to follow so that our hearts will stay pointed towards Him. That's what the rules are for...not to restrain us but to keep us from the things that will in the end bind us to them.
I'd rather have a heart pointed towards God than one enslaved to anything I can see...So for now I will pray that He will teach me the "habit[s] of the mind, heart and life that imitate the generous love of Jesus and thus bring new order, beauty and freedom to the world." Thanks for the wisdom, Bishop Wright
Thoughts on freedom, anyone?
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Thanks for the title Bebo
I got the name of this blog from what I refer to as my life "theme song". I think since I heard this song, I've felt like I could relate perfectly to the words. About seven years later it still hits home every time I listen to it.
Tip of My Heart: Bebo Norman
It's on the tip of my heart:The words to say
But I fall apart, and I walk away
There's an angry world pressed against my back
And at every turn, I keep looking back
And I know You promised me
Love through Eternity
So why can't I just hold on?
I want to live; I want to love
But I'm afraid my simple faith will never be enough
I want to laugh; I want to be set free
And let you hold all of my soul that's deep inside of me.
But I don't know where to start; it's on the tip of my heart.
So would you take my hand; cuz I'm sinking in.
To this life I've made, but don't understand
The clock moves so slowly, but time goes so fast
In this whirlwind world that will never last
This love you're giving me; It's not just make believe. Help me to just hold on.
You open the sky, and open my eyes
And all my fears are scattered away
So I walk in grace, because I've seen your face
You are all that matters to me.
So I'm gonna live, I'm gonna love
I'm not afraid because Your Grace will always be enough
I'm gonna laugh, I'm gonna be set free
And let You hold all of my soul that's deep inside of me
You have shown me where to start
It's on the tip of my heart.
---------------------
Sometimes I don't know how to say the things I want to say or to live the way I want to live, a life of laughter and trusting God with all of the thoughts, desires and emotions deep down in my soul; I am afraid that my simple faith will never be enough to live that way.
But the bottom line is, it's not supposed to be because Jesus is.
If the Son sets you free, you are free indeed. -John 8:36
Tip of My Heart: Bebo Norman
It's on the tip of my heart:The words to say
But I fall apart, and I walk away
There's an angry world pressed against my back
And at every turn, I keep looking back
And I know You promised me
Love through Eternity
So why can't I just hold on?
I want to live; I want to love
But I'm afraid my simple faith will never be enough
I want to laugh; I want to be set free
And let you hold all of my soul that's deep inside of me.
But I don't know where to start; it's on the tip of my heart.
So would you take my hand; cuz I'm sinking in.
To this life I've made, but don't understand
The clock moves so slowly, but time goes so fast
In this whirlwind world that will never last
This love you're giving me; It's not just make believe. Help me to just hold on.
You open the sky, and open my eyes
And all my fears are scattered away
So I walk in grace, because I've seen your face
You are all that matters to me.
So I'm gonna live, I'm gonna love
I'm not afraid because Your Grace will always be enough
I'm gonna laugh, I'm gonna be set free
And let You hold all of my soul that's deep inside of me
You have shown me where to start
It's on the tip of my heart.
---------------------
Sometimes I don't know how to say the things I want to say or to live the way I want to live, a life of laughter and trusting God with all of the thoughts, desires and emotions deep down in my soul; I am afraid that my simple faith will never be enough to live that way.
But the bottom line is, it's not supposed to be because Jesus is.
If the Son sets you free, you are free indeed. -John 8:36
Starting something...
Today I felt like I needed to start something. Although that feeling may be my conscience reminding me that I need to start my paper that is due tomorrow, that is at the moment is more interesting.
This year I learned a lot about starting things, especially starting changes in life. Everyone has things that they want to change about themselves, or to start doing, or to stop doing. I am the worst about saying that I will start ______ tomorrow. Like how I'm going to start my paper tomorrow (but really, there are no more possibilities to procrastinate, as I mentioned before that it is in fact due tomorrow.) Anyways, I think when we want to make changes we just have to start. Ask God to guide us and empower us, and start.
Today I am starting this blog. I love to write, and I am pretty good about journaling my prayers, but I have other thoughts...thoughts about things in life: simple things, complicated things, but mostly I have questions.
My purpose in this blog is not to detail my life, which I think most of the time is not particularly interesting, but more so to share, wonder and write. I hope that God gets way more glory through this than I do. And I hope that you, reader, if you ever do exist, will take what I have to say on the days I decide to add to this and question things in your life and maybe go write about them too. Or talk about them. Or at least think about them. But keep questioning. I think that's what God's been teaching me. Keep questioning, and go to Him for the answers.
This year I learned a lot about starting things, especially starting changes in life. Everyone has things that they want to change about themselves, or to start doing, or to stop doing. I am the worst about saying that I will start ______ tomorrow. Like how I'm going to start my paper tomorrow (but really, there are no more possibilities to procrastinate, as I mentioned before that it is in fact due tomorrow.) Anyways, I think when we want to make changes we just have to start. Ask God to guide us and empower us, and start.
Today I am starting this blog. I love to write, and I am pretty good about journaling my prayers, but I have other thoughts...thoughts about things in life: simple things, complicated things, but mostly I have questions.
My purpose in this blog is not to detail my life, which I think most of the time is not particularly interesting, but more so to share, wonder and write. I hope that God gets way more glory through this than I do. And I hope that you, reader, if you ever do exist, will take what I have to say on the days I decide to add to this and question things in your life and maybe go write about them too. Or talk about them. Or at least think about them. But keep questioning. I think that's what God's been teaching me. Keep questioning, and go to Him for the answers.
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